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pictures..... [18 May 2005|10:11pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

...When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
Cause we belong together...

Hmm...Well for some reason I am in a really pissed off mood, I don't even know why. Anyways, I was wondering if anyone could tell me a website that I can store pictures on, like to get a url so I can change my journal background? SOMEONE LEAVE A COMMENT PLEASE! Thanks.

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[19 Mar 2005|12:44pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Bold = YesCollapse )



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[14 Mar 2005|08:31pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Things have been good lately. Except we are like broke. Corey was supposed to hang out with his buddies on friday and saturday, but he stayed home and hung out with me. then we had some people come over on saturday.

MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 6 DAYS! I will be 18 bitches!

Corey is taking me to a Breaking Benjamin Concert on the 19th so I am very excited. I think this is going to be the best birthday ever b/c next Friday I am getting my tongue peirced and even though I am turning 18 my firends are still holding a sleep over for me. Except it will be in my new apartment. lol. I dont think i have enough room for all the people who want to come over.

Okay I just got some news. I dont think I am going to the comcert. Corey said he had heard it was sold out and we didnt get our tickets earlier b/c we have been broke. Damn it! It might not be so great anymore. I guess we will just be sitting around here. :( Whatever. My mom is excited b/c she says i can go to bingo with her. Do I want to go? No not really, but I am just b/c she is so excited about it.

I got an MRI on my ankle and they told me I have a badly bruised ankle. 2-3 more weeks out of softball. That sucks.

Well out my lovely friends. toodles.

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Corey [06 Mar 2005|05:46pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]



He fucking lied to me again! I hate him. And he said he would never bring a girl over to the apartment b/c he thought it was disrespectful and he had a girl come over last night. What an ass.

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[06 Mar 2005|12:26am]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Well I'm kinda pissed off agin, but whats new huh? I had homecoming tonight and it was really fun, but I went with four other people and the thing is they were all dates. It was Mandy and her date and Sam and her date so I was all by myself. i felt like the 5th wheel. Then I found out Corey lied to me and I just really wanted to go home even though i knew he was there. I came straight upstairs and at first I layed down in my bed, but then I got up to get on here. I kinda want to go back to Sam's now. I feel really bad for having them bring me home. I hope they arent mad at me. At least it gives them better chances to have sex without me being there. Give them some alone time after homecoming. Man I don't know why I am so pissed. Why does Corey have to do this so much? I really want to go downstairs, but I know Corey doesn't want me down there. That's why I am afraid to go ask him for chase's number and his keys to go back. Oh well I guess I will post later. Toodles.

Oh and he didn't even come up here to ask me if I wanted to come down or to see what was wrong. What a fucking bastard.

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corey, apartments, yadda, yadda, yadda [24 Feb 2005|04:44pm]
[ mood | worried ]

Corey found out yesterday that I made out with Victor. He is extremely pissed at me right now. He has made me feel so horrible. I feel like the fucking dirt he walks on. We did, however, get our apartment today. We are moving in on Saturday. I'm SO nervous. Will I really ba able to handle living on my own? I'm not so sure. How am I going to handle living with Corey when he hates me right now? That, I don't know either. Homecoming is in a week and Corey won't go with me. That makes me sad and I don't want to go by myself. I really want to go shopping for an outfit this weekend too. I don't know what I am going to do. I don't know how my life is going to end up anymore. I used to have this whole plan thing worked out, but its all changed. I don't even know if I am going to go to college anymore. How is my life going to end up? I don't know. Guess we will have to see later. I'm just worried. What if things don't work out? I'm not going to think that way. Everything will be fine. I'm still scared though. Off to take a shower. Toodles. Muah! xoxo

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parents, work, school, corey [19 Feb 2005|12:16pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

Well my parents keep being assholes. They want me out of the house and as sooon as Corey and I can find an apartment then I'm gone. Corey got kicked out of his house too. He lived with his aunt and he didn't go to school on Thursday and his aunt said something to his mom about him not going to school and Renee told her to worry about her own kid. Shelley didn't like thta too much and they fought and she kicked Corey out. Shelley lets her son(Damian) do whatever the hell he wants and then complains about Corey. She was going to let Damian miss school to go shopping and then they didn't even go! She is such a bitch.

Today is my last day of work. :( That makes me sad. It's my last day b/c manditory conditioning for softball starts on Monday. I don't even know if I can play softball right off the bat b/c of my ankle. I found out a week and 1/2 later that I have a chopped bone and a torn ligament. That's nice to know after I've been walking on it. I'm going to miss Victor. I don't know if I will get to see him after I leave. We usually hang out after work, but now that I won't see him we won't be able to make plans to hang out anymore. I'm gonna miss him a lot.

As for school, my parents got pissed b/c I told them I might have 2 F's on my interm. Not my fault F's though. I had a thing for Choir on Monday so I missed an English test which took my grade to an F, but he said as soon as I take the test my grade will be right back up. My parents said I have no excuses though. And then my second F is in Calculus. Now that class everyone has like an F in. It is SO hard! My parents never had to take Calculus so they have no idea what it's like! I don't know. It just sucks.

Oh and my parents won't fix my car and I don't know anything about cars to even attempt to fix it. They complain about taking me places yet they won't fix it for me. They make me find rides to work or call off b/c they don't want to take me. I feel like some charity case b/c I have to find rides every where! It sucks. I would take it to get it fixed some where, but I would have to probably pay more then what I even paid for the car.

Well that's enough for now. I will talk to you guys all later. Toodles.

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[27 Dec 2004|04:58pm]
:x: name = Holly Anne Heim
:x: piercings = My Ears..2 on each ear, my cartilage, and my belly button.
:x: tattoos = None.. yet....
:x: height = 5'1
:x: shoe size = 6
:x: hair color = brown, well i had black cherry but its coming out
:x: length = 3 inches below my shoulder
:x: siblings = heather,15 and kevin,13

:x: movie you rented = monster
:x: movie you bought = dodgeball and princess diary 2
:x: song that was stuck in your head = disappear-hoobastank
:x: cd you bought = damage plan
:x: cd you listened to = A mixed Cd, which I happened to burn
:x: person you've called = sondra
:x: person that's called you = sondra
:x: tv show you've watched = i dont remember....:P

:x: you wish you could live somewhere else = If I could take all my friends, and cool people then yeah!…All on our own Paradise Island ;-)
:x: you think about suicide = I have..
:x: you believe in online dating = nope
:x: you want more piercings = yea, my tongue and my nose and maybe my ears a 3rd time
:x: you drink = The occasional sip, sure.
:x: you do drugs = Hell no!
:x: you smoke = nopers. i hate smoking
:x: you like cleaning = sometimes.depends on my mood
:x: you like roller coasters = HELL YES.. The weird tummy feeling you get from it is awesome!
:x: you write in cursive or print = Print

:x: food = HAH! i dont have a favorite.
:x: song = right now i would have to say disappear by hoobastank
:x: thing to talk about = Life, my life..other peoples lives.
:x: drink = water
:x: clothes = Jeans, cute t-shirts…belts. i never match
:x: movies = pirates of the carribean. dodgeball.oh is that a great movie.
:x: holiday = Christmas and Halloween. i love to decorate for them

:x: ever cried over a guy/girl = Yes.. many times.
:x: ever lied to someone = Mhmm, Yesh. But I’d have a good reason to lie, as in trying to keep a secret, etc.
:x: ever been in a fist fight = Hah, once.
:x: ever been arrested = yes. twice. *shakes head and looks at floor in shame*

:x: of times I have been in love? = Once, and it’s still going on strong.
:x: of hearts I have broken? = i dont know....
:x: of people I consider my enemies? = 2
:x: of scars on my body? = 2. one from getting my finger slammed in the door and getting 13 stiches and on on my cheek from getting bite by a dog and getting 2 stiches
:x: of things in my past that I regret? = A few?.. I don’t know.. I have done some things I’m not proud of, but overall.. even though I have done that stuff, I’m still happy with how my life is currently going.

:x: disney movie = Pirates of the Carribean. princess diary.
:x: scent = hmmm...i have many. very sexy maybe?
:x: word = awesome
:x: nickname = holls
:x: eye color = blueish kinda color. they change just like everyones.i used to think i was cool b/c my eyes changed colors and then i found almost everyones do. :(

:x: pretty = I think I am some what pretty, but I don't like talking about me self.
:x: funny = Most of the time I am funny.
:x: friendly = If you’re friendly to me, but I do get annoyed easily so if I’m not provoked I’m super sweet.
:x: amusing = Isn’t that kind of like funny? Hm, sure.. I can amuse people.
:x: lovable = I am very lovable
:x: pessimistic = sometimes, but rarely.
:x: optimistic = most of the time.
:x: caring = If I like you.
:x: sweet = Mmm, I think I’m sweet and sour.
:x: dorky = Lol, Dorky…Yes.
:x: Spell your first name back wards: ylloh, haha i had to think about that one
:x: The story behind your user name: well I used to have chuck_a_duck b/c that was a nickname, but I got tired of it and since i am just so beautiful *flutters eyes and blushes* i decided to change it to beautiful_holly
:x: Are you straight?: Yes.
:x: Where do you live?: Heath, Ohio
:x: 4 words that sum you up: happy. loving. caring. AWESOME!

:x: Wallet = its from american eagle. it has flowers on it. It contains pictures of friends, receipts, my allowance, and tips from work.
:x: Toothbrush = it has white bristles with blue in the middle and its silver.
:x: Jewelry worn daily = It varies.. I wear some type of necklace all the time, though.and the one thing that doesnt change is the ring that corey gave me. :D
:x: Pillow cover = white, purple, red, and pink. i have like5 pillows
:x: Blanket = hah this is just plan white
:x: Sunglasses = a pair of regular sunglasses
:x: Shoes = i have a pair of black one. some pink phat farms. and a pair of blue ones i got from payless.:P

:x: CD in stereo right now = A mixed CD..
:x: What you are wearing now = a pair of blue jeans and a shine down shirt corey got me at the concert he went to.
x: Hair = down.straight and plain.
:x: Make up = chapstick and mascara

WHO or WHAT (was/is/are) -
:x: In my mouth = My tongue… Yeah, MINE.
:x: In my head = corey. dreams. songs.
:x: Wishing = that i could go shopping.
:x: After this = Post it?
:x: Talking to = No one right now.
:x: Eating = Nothing.
:x: Person you wish you were with = 1. Hm, With one of my good friends just at the mall watching a movie and relaxing.
:x: Something you're looking forward to in this up coming month = Um, since this month is almost over Ill say it about January. Winter Ball, hopefully being able to spend a whole night with Ray.
:x: Something that you are deathly afraid of = Being deserted by everyone I loved, and losing my Faith in God.
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[25 Dec 2004|09:57pm]



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i need a song [23 Dec 2004|02:14am]
[ mood | depressed ]

i need a song for how i feel right now....i feel betrayed. hurt. crushed. worthless. ugly. hated.

im just so hurt. any good songs for how i feel i would greatly appreciate.

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[19 Dec 2004|11:27pm]
[ mood | cold ]

hmmm...i am really sorry, but i'm not sure who i go my icon from. i got it a long time ago i think. so if i got it from you please leave a comment so i can give you credit for it.

it describes how i feel about corey right now. and no matter how much i want to hate him i cant! ahhhh! and we had sex last night again for the 2nd time since we broke! *slaps hand* bad holly! i need to stop that, but i cant help it! lol

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[19 Dec 2004|10:14am]
[ mood | drained ]

I own binoculars.
My hairbrush is purple.
My room looks like a tornado hit it. When I was little I used to collect beanie babies.
When I was little I used to collect acorns.
I like the song "Hey Ya."
I don’t believe in chain letters.
I like to rake leaves in the Fall.
I am a winter baby.
I wish I was older then I am now.
I eat squid.
I have a boyfriend/girlfriend.
I wear make up all the time.
My hair is its natural color.
I want a golf cart.
I like to play soccer.
I like to build igloos in the snow.
I like Sugarcult.
I want a convertible.
I like to write poems.
I eat popcorn at the movies.
I go to the movies at least 2 times a week.
I believe in angels.
I have a dog.
I go camping.
I dress up at Halloween.
I wanna be a teacher.
I like the color gray.
Social Studies, History, or World Cultures is my least favorite subject.
I go to a private school.
I am a cheerleader.
I like carebears.
I sleep to 12 in the summer and on weekends.
I like Cameron Diaz.
I have seen the movie "8 Crazy Nights" at least 3 times.
My moms name is Patricia.
I hate to read.
I believe in love at first sight.
I like to wear black.
I love to skateboard.
I like to surf.
I rent movies all the time.
I like surveys.
My favorite day of the week is Friday.
I have blonde hair.
I am a brunette.
I am boy CrAzY.
I like horses.
I have a hermit crab.
I have my ears pierced.
I play the violin.
My favorite color is orange.
I am obsessed with lip gloss.
I like Good Charlotte.
I am a Daddy’s Girl.
My eyes are blue.

I think Pink is Pimpin’.
I have a lot of nicknames.
McDonalds is my favorite Fast Food Place.
My favorite Candy is a Hershey’s Chocolate Bar.
I have a job.
I like to go to the grocery store.
I think Chuckie Cheese is AWESOME.
I am a beach person.
I have seen "Gone with the Wind."
I like chocolate cupcakes.
My hair is naturally dark brown.
I live in California.
I like to be in Plays at my School.
There are lockers in my school.
I am a Junior.
I like to skateboard.
I play soccer.
I live by the ocean.
I like to shop at Aeropostale.
I like hoodies.
I have moved to different houses more than 2 times.
I am in love.
I like root beer floats.

I have only 10 cousins or less.
I get grounded a lot.
I like Science.
I live in Maryland.
I like to eat crabs.
I LOVE french fries.
I have a Gameboy.
I have Play Station 2.
I like the name Lucy.
I like Elmo.
I like Usher.
I am scared of Spiders.
I am obsessed with Hilary Duff.
I like to go to music concerts.
I am a dog person.
My bedroom is Spotless.
I like the song "Pretty Girl."
Valentines Day is my favorite holiday.
I like Yellowcard.
I am a good friend.
I believe in God.
I can sing.

I like to act.
I wish I were invisible.
I have braces.
I watch Soap Operas.
I can speak Spanish.
I am obsessed with purses.
I wear make up non-stop.
My name is Kristen.
When I was little I watched Barney.
My favorite color is red.
I like seafood.
I dont like Hilary Duff.
I am a blonde at heart.
I love my friends.
I couldn’t live without TV.
I like Ashlee Simpson.
My favorite song is "Ocean Avenue."
I cuss tooooooo much.
I like flowers.
I LOVE chocolate.
I like to paint my nails.
Ryan Cabrera is hot.
I like the movie, "The Princess Diaries."
I like snowballs.
I like chocolate ice cream.
I like to write stories and poems.
I am an artist.
My wishes always come true.
I like playing computer games.
I like playing "Twister."
I have been in a tornado.
I LOVE storms.
I like dolphins.
I am afraid of snakes.
I like cookies.
My middle name is Marie.
My last name begins with an "S."
I like licking envelopes.
I like presents.

I shop toooo much.
I think Chad Michael Murray is HOT.
I like saying "hehe."

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[14 Dec 2004|10:18pm]
[Sex life:]
-Favorite way to kiss? with the tongue of course
-Where do you put your hands when you make-out? hmmm...his neck. and his penis. lol j/k his neck and his waist i think.
-Do you like to be playful and flirt? Very much so.
-Are you into the friends with benefits thing? Naw, from what I’ve seen those don’t end up too well.
-Do you lead the kiss or do you let your partner? uhhh. me. i had to be the one to make the first move with corey.
-How many people have you fooled around with? corey. he was my first everything.
-Regrets? Nope
-Do you like your neck kissed? ohhh...uh huh.
-Your ear? uh huh
-How far have you gone with a guy/girl? sex....:)
-Do you like giving handjobs? not really. my arm gets tired. lol.
-Do you like giving head or eating a girl out? hmmm...giving head, yes. I actually love that. eating a girl out? never done it and i dont think i ever will.
-Do you like getting them done to you? i'm not too fond of it, but its not bad.
-If you've had sex what is your favorite position? i dont have a favorite.
-When did you lose your virginity? wlast year. i do believe it was when i was 16, but i could be wrong i could have been 15, i know it sounds slutty not to remember, but i've only slept with one person. so theres no slut here.
-Do you regret it? absolutely not!
-Who did you lose it to? corey
-Did it hurt? HAH! HELL YEA!
-Ever had a fling with someone? Nopers.
-Did you regret doing it? ...
-What turns you on? hmmm...whispers in thy ear.
-What turns you off? A Guy who thinks he can get laid by anybody.
-What's your fantasy? Mmmm, Oh boy.. I have a lot…
-Does it involve chocolate? nope. i have tried sex with ice before but that wasnt a fantasy.
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friends [29 Nov 2004|12:49am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

I know I haven't written in a long time. A lot has happened, but for some reason I don't feel like putting it all down. I do want to talk about my friend though. Her dad doesn't let her grow up and makes me so sad to see her sad. She couldn't come over for a movie night b/c her dad decided to leave at 11:30 am and not come home until 9:15 so she couldnt go anywhere b/c he decided to turn his phone off and take her license away b/c she forgot to call him when she got to her grandmas. So I wrote him a letter and I want anyone to read it and give me help on it if you want.

Letter to Mandy's dadCollapse )

Oh and I filled out my college applications today, even though I'm a little late on doing that. I feel so good now.
Oh and my basement caught on fire at 2 in the morning Sunday night, well Monday morning. It made my parents talk b/c my dad came straight home from work. They are back together now. I am actually glad my basement caught on fire. lol.
I love Corey.

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My parents are seperating [19 Nov 2004|10:47pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Well it's offical, my parents are seperating. my dad i guess told my mom today that he stopped loving her 10 years ago! that makes me so mad at him. why did he put her through 10 years of misery! how could he do that! i dont know what i would do if i ever heard that from i guy i had been married to for 18 years! my mom is 38 and she wants to start dating again and it is so much harder to start dating at 38 than it is at 28. i dont know what i am going to do when my dad leaves tomorrow. my mom said she wants him out tomorrow. i guess no matter how much i am mad at my dad for saying what he did i am still going to miss him terribly. i have no idea where he is going to stay, he wont be here for thanks giving, my grandparents arent coming up anymore, and he wont be her for christmas. we might not even have a christmas b/c we wont have enough money. there are times when i need to talk to my dad b/c he is always there for me and he just listens and now i wont know how to get ahold of him. i will only be able to call him at work now and he wont be able to physically be there for me. he wont be here every morning when i wake up for school to make me breakfast, or to wake me up, he wont be here when i get home from school so i can tell him how my day went.im am so upset right now. i dont know what to do. i told my mom even though i may cry and may seem mad that im not b/c i understand if they arent happy they dont need to live unhappy to make us happy b/c it make things worse. but ever since i was little i have been so used to have both parents around and now it is going to be weird. well i need to go. i'm bawling like a baby.

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[14 Nov 2004|11:38pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

you guys i'm so depressed again. my parents want a divorce, my mom wants to give my dad custidy of us kids because she doesnt want us and my dad wants to sell the house. guess whos fault it is for the divorce...us kids. i refuse to move. and i think i have another UTI. this isnt fair, i have done everything the doctor has told me to do, so why am i getting another one? i cant take this you guys. omg! i come down to put this stuff in here and my mom starts bitching at me b/c i cant sleep! she wonders why i get mad at her! she has been acting like such a bitch! i really can't take this!

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[14 Nov 2004|02:16pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Well Corey and I went bowling last night with Brian. It was fun. Then we went to TeeJays and seen all the drunk people there at 4 in the morning! It was so funny. I never knew I would see that many drunk people in one place that early in the morning. We watched a guy almost fall asleep 4 times. Then we seen some old lady with her disgusting belly hang out and her boobs sack out of her shirt! It was gross, she looked like a prostitute. And then there was some guy whos sister worked as a waitree there and he said all he wanted to do was pinch her boob and he didn't care if it was incest! And some lady told him it was Ohio and he wasn't allowed to do that, but he kept messing with his sister anyways. Then me, Corey, and Brian went back to Corey's and snuck upstairs so that Shelley and Brad wouldn't hear us while Corey and Brian played playstation. And my mother called me and told me I needed to come home and I couldn't take Brian home with Corey. Corey told me not to listen to her and to go with them anyways, but I didn't want to get into too much trouble. Then when I got home she tried yelling at me, but I walked away and she tried locking me out, but then let me back in and she called me a fucking bitch and to go to hell. I told her she was the reason my sister ran away and that I would too if I could, but then I felt bad because it wasn't true. But she told me she would be out of my life today. That;s not what I want, but I don't have anything to apoligize for. And I called Brian to tell Corey to stop by again when he got home, but I was crying and ended up falling asleep so I have no idea if he came and I really just wanted to be held by him because I was so angry. I won't hear from him for a while today because he won't get up until like 4. Oh well I guess at least I will see him. Oh and my sister came back around 10:30 this morning. I guess last night she slept in a slide. Thats what she gets, I wonder how many people she slept with. HAHA and someone just came to my house right now asking for my sister because I guess she stole his bowl from him and he wants it back. haha she is going to be in a lot of trouble. I guess his name is Terry and I have never heard of a Terry before. My mom like played 20 questions with him trying to get things out of him. And of course Heather is denying everything. I bet the guy is someone who picked her up last night and she slept with him and then she decided to take something. Well I'm out lovelies.
XOXO <3 Holly

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[13 Nov 2004|02:40pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Well a lot of bad things have happened over the past week. Jared(a friend of mine) found his dad ead on Sunday morning, his mom also died when he was like 4. Now he is parentless and he doesn't deserve that, no one does, he is one of the sweetest guys I have ever known, and he is so cute! lol. I know it's not a time to say things like that. Well 2 friends from work have had deaths in their lives go on too. Melia lost her mom 3 nights ago, and on that same day Sara had a funeral for one of her best friends! And I found out that she was supposed to do something with the girl the day she died and when she called the police to tell them no one could find here they told her she was in the hospital, but she was ok....well she found out later that the girl was already dead when she called and the police had lied to her! And then my sister decided to take it upon herself and run away yesterday, doesn't bother me to much, she probably ran off to go have sex some more guys, seeing how she is such a big slut. Me and my sister don't get along at all and she has slept with like 22 guys and she is only 15. I don't agree with anything my sister does and she....I just don't even know how to describe her, but if you knew her you would understand. Oh and another girl from school collapsed and puked b/c she over dosed at school...dumbass. And I was the one to find her I turn the corener and seen her collapse and there was puke in front of her and Leslie ran to get a teacher and Andrea couldn't even get up. I had to run to get the nurse and they had to like carry her to the nurse. Oh and my parents are being bitches and won't let me go to this concert b/c I am on probation so I'm not going to bring it up for a while and go get the ticket and not tell them I am going. I will say I am spending the night at a friends house. Well I have to get ready to go to work. XOXO

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[03 Nov 2004|10:54pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

Hmmm...well I haven't updated in a very long time b/c really I have nothing important to update about and I have been really busy. work is ok, i havent gotten a lot of money though for only working 4 days. I got about 70 bucks...not bad...i get paid this saturday and it should be a double check b/c they didnt have my papers to give me last weeks check. Hmmm...yea, so, um things are good between Corey and I, i'm going to counsling b/c i have too and I think i am going to a shinedown concert on Dec. 3....actually i know i am. well i guess thats all for now. oops wait, now i'm sure a lot of you guys are for bush, but i hate him and i really wanted kerry to win, but he didnt and i am still proud of him for doing so well in the election, it was a very close election and i found out they had mortage their house or something like that just so they could campaign that much. i do know one thing though, i am glad its over. no more of those sleazy campaign ads and no more listening to people argue about it. well now i'm done. PAYCE! xoxo

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Last Night [30 Oct 2004|12:06pm]
[ mood | drained ]

Guess what I went to see last night! Saw! It was a freakin awesome movie! I advise anyone who can go see it! I loved it! Anyways. My job is at La paloma and I guess we are supposed to dress for Halloween or wear Ohio State today, but I'm not sure. I don't know if I wear Ohio State if I am supposed to wear my black pants and stuff today too. Hmmmm....what am I supposed to do? And I can't get ahold of the only girl that I talk to to see what she is wearing or what we are supposed to do. Oh well I guess I will be the oddball.

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